For Parents in Shock
Finding out your child has been abused is a traumatic event for you as well. Your reaction in the first few minutes and hours is crucial for your child's recovery.
What to do right now
Stay Calm
Your child is watching you to see if they are safe. If you panic, they may feel they have to protect you instead of being protected.
Believe Them
The most important thing you can say is: "I believe you. It is not your fault. I am glad you told me."
Don't Interrogate
Let them tell the story in their own time. Don't press for details that might be used in a legal process later; leave that to professionals.
Safety First
Ensure the perpetrator no longer has any access to your child. This is your primary responsibility right now.
What to avoid
- Blaming the child: Never ask "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" or "Why did you go there?"
- Making it about you: Avoid saying "How could you do this to our family?" or "I can't handle this."
- Seeking immediate revenge: Taking matters into your own hands can jeopardize legal proceedings and put you and your child at further risk.
- Forcing them to talk: If they shut down, let them. Just stay present and available.
You need support too
You cannot pour from an empty cup. To be the pillar your child needs, you must find a safe space to process your own anger, guilt, and grief.
Healing is a family journey
This event does not define your child's future. With the right support and your unwavering belief in them, they can and will heal.